It was a perfect picture I dare not snap

There he was, naked, sprawled across my steps right by the front door, light spilling in through the big windows, smile upon his face.

True perfection. 

My baby boy:  21 months, nonverbal, testing limits, learning to undress and use the potty, chatting with me using a mix of nods, sounds, and sign language.

Oh, the beauty was just pouring out of him.  His skin is so very perfect.  He laid there so sweetly, so innocent, so full of curiosity.

He was not ashamed of his body. He was not trying to hide.

He was just there. Just proud that he had gotten his clothes and diaper off alone. Just happy to be free of confining clothing.

It honestly was a picture perfect moment, the lighting, his smile, his joy, his perfect soft baby skin.

But, we all know that can't happen in today's world. And I am saddened.

I can't take a perfect picture of my sweet toddler laying naked on my steps because someone somewhere could see them and use them as child porn. And that just plain sucks.

Why Did I Doubt Myself - Gluten Free (on top of dairy, soy, egg, nut, beef, and bean free)

I always included fruits and veggies into my diet but I honestly ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. That included sweets, fatty greasy foods, fast foods, etc. I met friends who said they ate more clean, more cooking from scratch, less eating out. I always said I could never, ever do that!

Well here I am. Doing that.

My baby boy was very upset right after he was born. He was miserable, crying constantly, popping on and off the breast, acting in pain, arching his back. The doctors first said it was just reflux disease and put him on meds. Didn't help. He was miserable.

I did my own research and found his symptoms were similar to those babies with food allergies. I sought the advice of a GI specialist, got x-rays on his distended tummy, and we concluded that he was most likely reacting to a myriad of foods. He said I should eliminate dairy, beef, eggs, nuts, and soy from my diet if I wanted to keep nursing him. On second though, the doctor said, you won't be able to do that at all so just take his $30 a can formula, here is a script for more, and put him on that.

I was so upset. I had nursed all 3 of my other kids just fine. I was upset that the doctor doubted me so much. I went home and pouted a bit while stewing about what to do.

I decided I needed to do what was best for my baby or at least give it my very best effort. I cut it all from my diet. It takes weeks to make sure dairy, especially, is out of your diet. It is hidden in so many things! My baby started acting happier and healthier. We later learned he was reacting to beans so we cut that as well.

It was hard. My family kept eating what they wanted. I was the main cook so I would serve mostly what I could have and then offer other things to keep them happy. Eating out was hard but doable. If I ever thought about the foods I missed, I would just imagine my sweet baby in so much pain and the craving would disappear.

We felt like he was still reacting to something. We kept careful watch of him and his symptoms. We sought more GI and allergist help, with no help. I did more research and found that maybe he and I both were reacting to gluten. I was so scared to cut that as well. I figured my husband would not be happy with me eliminating yet one more thing and making it harder to cook. I thought about it for a while, did research, and then mentioned it in passing to the hubby.

He quickly got on board! I was so shocked. He decided to cut gluten with me. We have been gluten free for 16 days now. I definitely noticed a change in both my baby and me after only a week. My hubby noticed a change after about 2 weeks. The kids gave it a half try and decided that completely gluten free was not for them! Haha.

I do not miss it. I am currently only avoiding all things gluten and have not found any replacements yet. I really want to try a gluten free vegan chocolate chip cookie! It has limited our ability to go out to eat so much which is great for our health and wallet. I eat a lot of the same things over and over but that is okay. I feel so much better and my baby doesn't scream as much. I think he may be sleeping a bit better too! I am so mad at myself for waiting so long to try this out of fear! I am doing it. I am changing my health in ways I never thought I could.

The doctors are confident that my baby will outgrow his allergies as they think his reactions are simply GI related and not anaphylactic. They suggest letting him taste the culprit foods and see how he does.  However, I am not ready to let him taste test any allergy suspected food as he is pretty nonverbal.  We will see what the future holds.

Oh My, Lego Fun For All Ages!

My children are 1, 6, 8, and 14.

 

As you can imagine, it is hard to find something that we can all do together that every kid will enjoy.

 

 

Enter the Legos. Dax loves when his sisters make him Lego swords to play with.

 

The girls invite him in their game and his face lights up.

 

He likes to come down in the mornings and knock over whatever was built before.

 

Ainzley had a blast making her little robot. She likes to match colors.

 

Chaz has loved Legos since he was little.

 

We had a Lego table for him when he was smaller but it got worn out and had to be thrown away. I really miss that table.  He spent hours with his Legos and Lego table.

 

It has been so fun to watch the creations and hear the stories that go along. There are always background stories to go with the Lego structures Chaz builds.

 

Brijet is full of creativity. This Lego structure was inspired by robots.

 

It is fun to hear giggles and stories coming from the other room and peak in to find all four of your babies playing happily together while you get the back door fixed.

 

Dax loves when his big siblings are playing beside him.

 

Brijet and Ainzley come up with some unique and symmetric designs.

 

I really need to invest in more Legos so we have enough for all four to play happily!

Eight years of my sassy Jet

Brijet turns 8 today.  My sweet little princess brings so much joy to my life. She has always been in love with all things pink and princess. She had art in her heart from the start. She really knows how to be bold and stand for what she believes. She is an amazing big sister, no doubt. 

We had a joint party for Jet and Chaz when she turned 1 as their birthdays are super close. She didn't mind one bit. She loved the attention and it was her first taste of cake! 

We had a joint party with Chaz for her second birthday too. We had water play and tons of friends. Brijet loved it all so much. 

For her third birthday, it was princess and art all the way. 

For her fourth birthday, Brinet helped make her own cake and laughed so much with all her friends.

For her fifth birthday, Brijet wanted a party with her sissie, whose birthday is in September. We had a July party in the park. It was so hot and humid! Brijet loved every bit! The cake was custom made by cousin Liz after careful instruction from A and B!

Brijet celebrated 5 with school friends at a local park. Aunt B made a special shirt and Brijet giggled so much with all her friends! 

Seven was toned down. We did a little special activity but no party. She loved playing with the balloons! I'm positive there was cake somewhere! 

Eight. How can my sweet little girl be 8? I know I have been in the throws of parenthood, dinners, school stuff, nursing the ill, but it still seems as if the time just flew by. Brijet will have a friend sleep over tonight to celebrate turning 8. She has plans and loves being in charge. We had cake a week early so loved ones could sing to her. She loves to be sung to! Haha 

I love you my sweet Jet! Happy birthday!! 

The Big 3 with Micah Cree

My sweet nephew is 3.

I so love remembering my sister's stories of the kind of mother she would be.  

She had all these plans but her little man came in and set a path all his own. 

This dinosaur loving little man so enjoyed his day of fun. He has so much fun with friends and family.

Micah loved climbing the tree. He told me stories of the spiders who lived in the tree. 

I loved how all these tiny little things just sat around the table so patiently while we sang to the birthday boy. 

For a little walk down memory lane, here is

Micah as a newborn. 

Micah at his 1st birthday party.

Micah at his 2nd birthday party. 

The boy does not like to sit still or have his picture taken! LOL 

It has been so fun to watch him grown and learn and to watch my sister as a mom.

Happy 14th Birthday

My sweet, kind, amazing oldest child is 14. I keep watching him in amazement. How did he grow so fast? How was I chosen to raise this old soul? How did I get so blessed to be his mama?

 

 

Chaz's 1st birthday was held at a park. We had tons of family there. He was the one and only grandchild so he was very much the center of many people's attention.

 

Chaz's 2nd birthday party was held at my mom's house. He so loved Buzz Lightyear that year. Everything he owned was Buzz!

 

Chaz's 3rd birthday was held at a park. He had some great preschool friends attend. He was into soccer that year.

 

Chaz's 4th birthday was held at my mom's house again. We made his cake and he had a blast with friends despite the swollen eye due to a stye. A friend brought his police motorcycle to show off.

 

Chaz's 5th birthday was held at my mom's house. He loved our homemade Crayola cake.

 

Chaz's 6th birthday was held at our house. He had some friends over for the fun!

 

Chaz's 7th birthday was held at our house but this year we only invited friends, no family. By then, I had Brijet and family making it out for 2 parties in one month was too much. He had a blast decorating his own cupcakes with friends.

 

Chaz's 8th birthday party was held at our house as a joint party with his baby sister. We had blow up pools in the front yard and a clown. It was fun and simple.

 

Chaz's 9th birthday party was held at our house with fun friends. He seems to have that same look every year we sing to him!

 

Chaz's 10th birthday was the last year we held a party for him. He is the only 1 of my 4 kids who had a party every year for the first 10 years. I just could not keep up after having so many kids! LOL

 

Chaz's 11th birthday was spent at our cousin's Elizabeth's house. She made him a little cake and we just sang to him. Small. Focused on him. Love shared.

 

 

Chaz's 12th birthday. He was already taller than his mama!

 

Chaz's 13th birthday. He just hung out and let me snap some pics!

 

Chaz's 14th birthday.  He requested a cheesecake so I made one.

 

It has been so fun to watch him grow through the years!

 

I cannot believe I am the mom of a 14 year old!

Not Apologizing

I hear it so often throughout my conversations with fellow parents. 

I'm sorry. 

I'm sorry my kid played so long.

I'm sorry for the mess in the background of the pic.

I'm sorry he is screaming in the background. 

I'm sorry her face is messy. 

I'm sorry I have to get off the phone to deal with the kids. 

I'm sorry I'm in my sweat pants with messy hair.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 

You know what? I'm not sorry. I'm not apologizing.

And I don't want to hear others apologize either. 

This is life. Raising our kids, loving on them, guiding them, making messes and friends.  It gets crazy and hectic and it is totally worth it!

I'm not apologizing for the mess in the background of that pic. I'm taking time to capture that smile and take note of that neat creation. 

I'm not apologizing for getting off the phone because my baby needs my attention. 

I'm not apologizing for my kids having a blast, even if it means they played all day at my house, at your house, at nana's house. One day they will be roped into this adult life with bills, chores, jobs, and headaches! 

I'm not apologizing for the messy face! The caked on marshmellow is adorable when you are 1! When else in life are you going to be able to pull that off!?

I'm not apologizing for the noise. Make some noise and soak it up, my babies. Enjoy life. 

I'm not apologizing for my appearance or the amount of pictures I take and post. It is me. This is who I am and I am choosing to embrace me, love me for me, and enjoy this amazing life I have been blessed with. 

I'm not apologizing and neither should you.