A Child's Trust Taken For Granted

 

 

It had never really crossed my mind before. Kids and trust. 

 

My kids all learned so early to trust us, rely on us as parents to take care of their needs. I didn't realize I was taking it for granted.

 

It seemed like a normal thing in the world, that's just what kids learn, right?

I remember to be thankful for

healthy kids

our home

our marriage

our food

my job

my husband's job

and the list goes on.

 

I just never thought to be thankful for our kids trusting us.

 

It just seemed like a natural thing to happen.

 

When I watched Dax trying to jump to Wen, it hit me. His little eyes and body movement are telling a story. He is cautious. He is nervous. He really wants to jump and be caught but he is afraid he won't be caught. That fear only lasted a few seconds as daddy reassured him once again that he will catch him. And then that sweet Dax remembered his trust, remembered the many, many, many times before when his daddy did catch him, and he jumped with a huge smile across his face and a tiny giggle slipped out.

 

It was such a small part of our day full of Dax running to hold daddy's hand and begging daddy to carry him around. It didn't seem so big at first but the more I thought of it the bigger it seemed.

 

And I felt so very grateful for this life.

 

So grateful I comforted my babies when they cried. So grateful I carried them, wore them in slings, and snuggled them whenever they asked. So grateful I listened to their cries and helped them fix their problems. So grateful I slept beside them to help them feel safe. So grateful I caught them every time they jumped and encouraged them to jump again and again and again.

 

I didn't spoil them. I didn't ruin them. I didn't make them brats. I built their trust.

 

My heart aches for the children who haven't had their trust built up.

 

Asthma and Allergies Adventures

When my Brijet was around 5 years old, we visited a friend, just like we had several times before. This friend had a cat and Brijet, being the animal lover she is, pet the cat a few times while playing with the kids.                            

Random fun pics just for fun.

Look how adorable she was at 6!

She had a little trouble breathing which led us to the doctor visit the next day where she needed breathing treatments and a steroid to get her breathing back up. We got a referral to an allergist where we learned she has asthma as well as allergies to cats, trees, weeds, grass, mold, dust mites, and cockroaches. That is a lot for a tiny 6-year-old to take in.

She had to see what was happening on her back. She tolerated it really well.

She was prescribed several medications and an asthma action plan. We learned to avoid the triggers and Brijet seemed to do okay using her inhaler rarely that first year. The years after brought more inhaler use, trials of daily medications to help symptoms, worse symptoms, and more followup visits with the allergist.

She was such an adorable 7-year-old!

We were trying to figure out if she needed her tonsils out after she said she would wake often feeling really short of breath and gasping for air. We were visiting specialists and deciding on who should be her primary allergist after I decided I was not a fan of the office she had been seeing. We ultimately found a great ENT and decided to take the conservative route, try getting her allergies under better control to limit the mucus, and then see if she can tolerate the tonsils and adenoids being at about a 2 or if she needs them out later.

Ainzley 6, Dax 1, Brijet 8.

On March 13, 2016, our family decided to visit a big shopping area about 40 minutes from our home. We always carry Brijet's inhaler with us. Brijet suddenly had an asthma attack in the car and her inhaler did not seem to be helping her enough to feel better. That landed her in the emergency room at the local hospital and changed the way we view her illness.

Brijet felt much better after her ER visit on 03/13/2016 (9 years old).

I had done little research on her asthma and allergies. I thought we had a decent handle on it. She used the inhaler as needed. We talked about what to do when she got short of breath. We made sure she stayed away from triggers and showered after playing outdoors. I taught her how to use her inhaler and nebulizer as needed. 

Adorable Jet at 5.

It's weird, you know. I would still let her go on walks with friends, ride her bike, run around and play. I always tried to make sure we had her inhaler but some days we would end up at a park and the inhaler was accidentally left at home. It didn't seem like such a big deal. I guess most things are not a big deal until you have to deal with the emergency situation.

Beautiful Jet at 4.

We have since found a new allergist and we have a new plan to treat her. We learned her lungs are working less than normal at baseline and she needs a daily inhaler to help her heal.  We learned she went from just fine to full blown asthma attack in a few seconds because she was already halfway there at baseline. We learned she probably isn't using her inhaler quick enough because her body has become used to breathing less than normal at baseline. We learned that her first skin test and allergen levels were extremely high for a 6-year-old and that the level statistically rose each year, making her react even more each time. Frankly, that just plain sucked to hear. I thought I was doing all I could as a mom but I needed to do better.

Brijet at 3 and Ainzley at almost 2.

It sucked to learn these things 3 years later. Our old allergist (though kind, good bedside manner, and helpful) never shared with us how high her results were. He never shared how significant that is. He never shared that statistically she will get worse. And I never researched it like I should have. I know better.

My 2-year-old Jet.

Asthma and allergies happen to many people and each person has a different reaction. I have talked to several people with allergies and asthma or who have kids with allergies and asthma.  I have learned this is an illness that is hard to control. 

Chaz 7, Ainzley 2 months, Brijet 1.