We Love You Leslie

1999

 

Aunt Leslie is what I called her, my mom's close friend from childhood. She was my aunt through and through, not sharing blood made no difference. She was a strong shoulder for my mom when she lost her mom and her marriage in a short period of time. Aunt Leslie helped do my grandmother's hair and makeup in the casket. She helped take care of my sister and me when my mom needed her. No questions. She helped me through some tough times in my teen years and was there for my mom through it all. She could burp the alphabet, ya'll. She was hilarious, gross, full of raunchy comedy, and we just laughed together.

1999

 

I remember how happy she was to be a mommy. She waited until later in life to take on this role and she loves her boys so, so very much. She had her boys right around the time I had my first baby. It was strange having a kid around the same age as my mom's best friend. LOL

 

2003

 

Today I got the text that Leslie was taken to the hospital by ambulance, nonresponsive, and they don't think she will make it. Ouch. My mom is devastated. I'm still processing it. She is the same age as my mom. She has two teen sons, teens who she won't get to see graduate, marry. She will never meet any future grandchildren. She won't be able to share her burping alphabet with anyone again.

2003

 

Leslie's boys, Michael and Ryan, are kissing their mom good-bye, forever. It seems strange as I clean my house and feed my kids that someone else is saying good-bye forever.

 

How can life be this unfair?

 

2004

 

Leslie was there for my cousin's wedding, my wedding, and my sister's wedding reception after my sister got married in Jamaica. It was so special to have her there.

2004

 

How does the world still function, move, go on as she lay in a hospital bed surrounded by crying, devastated loved ones? Would it have been easier if someone had taken her life and we had someone to be mad at for this loss?

 

2009

 

Would it be easier if we had a week's notice to say our good-byes or would drawing it out have been too much? Would it have been easier if her teen sons had not found her themselves?

 

Would anything have made saying good-bye easier?

 

2009

 

Leslie and my mom laughed so much together. I can't imagine how hard this is for my mom. Leslie is the same age as my mom.  You shouldn't have to say good-bye to a friend so young.

 

2009

 

It is a horrible wake-up call to take care of our bodies, take care of our loved ones, call our family and share our love with those who mean the most to us.

 

2010

 

Mom and Leslie had some fun times together. Leslie used to have me clean her house for her and pay me a bit to do it. My mom would drag my sister, brother, and me to Leslie's house to visit. They would say it would be a short visit and we would end up falling asleep waiting for them to wrap it up and say good-bye. She had no kids at the time so there were no toys. We would just lay around waiting for the time to go. I wish I could be laying around bored to tears again listening to them laugh.

 

2010

 

Leslie honestly didn't like her picture being taken. She always made me take the pic off my Facebook page.  Now I wish I would have just let her be mad and told her she was beautiful and she needed her love to shine through the lens.

 

2011

 

Leslie came to all the family functions. Everyone knew she was just like an extension of my mom. That is just the way it was, for years. Oh sure, they had their friendly spats but they loved each other so much and they both knew it. Leslie gave my nephew, Micah, his Arky blanket, the blanket that became his special, has-to-to-everywhere-with-him snuggly.

 

2011

 

I didn't hesitate to invite Leslie out to the bar with me when I was old enough and able to get out. It was fun having some party time with my mom and her friend! Oh the stories they would share. I love hearing things about my mom from her friends. I'm so thankful she let me snap this pic of us together.

 

2011

 

Leslie holding Micah around Christmas 2011. It was a blast to invite Leslie over to family functions. She was able to attend my wedding and be part of birthday parties.

 

2012

 

Leslie holding Dax. I'm positive she came to meet my older 3 when they were first born but I can't find any pics. She was probably hiding from the camera! My girls still have a stuffed animal she gave them as babies. You know what was fun? Letting my mom's friend meet my kids. She helped raise me. She helped my mom through so much as I grew up.

 

Leslie, you are loved.  

A Decade of Brijet Caiwen

My sweet baby Brijet is super excited to be 10 years old!

 

 

{Brijet 4 days new}

We were so excited to have a baby girl. I made sure we had a lot of pink clothes, pink diaper bag, pink carseat, pink stroller. I was loving the pink vibe. LOL She was my second child, first girl.  Brijet was such a sweet baby. She nursed a lot and enjoyed being held by the whole family.

 

{Brijet 5 months old}

 

Brijet was happy to be able to roll over and crawl around on her own. She loved the freedom and got into everything. Her hair stuck straight up most of the time and made us laugh. I loved her giggle.

 

 

{Brijet 1 year old}

 

All of us loved on Brijet. She followed big brother around everywhere. She loved wearing dresses and swinging. She became a big sister at 16 months old and took her big sis job seriously. 

 

 

 

{Brijet 2 years old}

 

Brijet and her little sister lived in princess dress-up dresses when they were little. It was the cutest thing. Brijet loved to turn on the music and dance away while wearing her little dress.

 

 

{Brijet 3 years old}

 

Fashionista is a good word to describe my Brijet. She has loved clothes and accessories since she was pretty small. She loved being all pinked out, pink everything. She would help dress her sister in some cute fashionable outfits. She loved all things girly.

 

 

{Brijet 4 years old}

 

Brijet taught herself to swim around 4 or so. She was determined to learn. She loved art and would draw, color, paint whenever she could. She just loved creating.

 

 

{Brijet 5 years old} 

 

 Brijet taught herself to ride a bike around 5. She would put her mind to something and not stop until she achieved her goal. She was so excited for kindergarten and loved to learn.

 

 

{Brijet 6 years old}

 

Brijet wrote the most adorable stories. She knew author names and read books all the time. She has wanted to be an author/illustrator for some time now. I remember being at a park once when she was about 5 or 6. Another mom was chatting with Brijet (as Jet talked to everyone) and Brijet mentioned a book by a certain author. That mom's jaw dropped and then she smiled so big.

 

 

{Brijet 7 years old}

 

Brijet took being a big sis seriously again. She was holding her baby brother like a pro and making him giggle like crazy. She pretends to be a dog to appease him and gives him piggy back rides.

 

 

{Brijet 8 years old}

 

Brijet is all about them friendships. She is a party planner. She loves to invite people over and plan the activities. She often asks to throw random events just to invite people over. She and Ainzley once planned a valentine party and invited some friends over. I only had to listen to their plans and help buy supplies or set up. Other than that, my job is to keep Dax away from them.

 

 

{Brijet 9 years old}

 

Brijet really loves make up and watches make up tutorials online. She loves to go shopping and find new clothes for herself. She makes these adorable Musical.ly videos and shows her creative side.

 

 

 {Brijet 10 years old}

 

Brijet likes to roller blade now, with a helmet of course. She is interested in safety and does a good job helping others remember to be safe as well. She is also good about brushing her teeth and reminding others to do the same. She is so smart and kind. She often helps out extra around the house when needed. She loves to tease Chaz about various things but she adores him.

We struggled getting her asthma and allergies under control for a bit but she is on daily medication now and doing a lot better. She feels so much better now. She is such a sweet girl and I am so blessed to be her mama. She has such a pretty smile and still has that fashionista sense!

 

Happy 10th birthday to my sweet Brijet Caiwen. You are so loved. 

Happy 16th Birthday to Chaz!

My first born, my sweet baby boy, the one who started me on the mom journey, turned 16.

 

{gulp}

 

How can he possibly be this old?

 

 {Chaz around a month old and me}

 

Why is the newborn stage so short? I can barely remember him being so tiny. I loved snuggling him. I held him all the time and I loved every minute. He took to nursing so easily and I was relieved we didn't have issues. He was a mama's boy from the beginning. I was so shocked when he was born with a head full of dark black hair. He was such a beautiful baby.

 

{Chaz around 3 months old and his dad}

 

Daddy and Chaz hung out and played video games together.  He was so smiley and loved when family played with him. Wen was so nervous to hold him and feared he would hurt him.

{Chaz around 7 months old and me}

 

Once he learned to crawl, he was happy being let down to explore. He would examine things and try to figure things out. He was such a happy little guy. He loved his grandparents and aunts and uncles so much. He loved to giggle.

 

 {Chaz at 1 year old}

 

We spent most of our day outside walking around the neighborhood when he was a toddler. He would walk so slow, stopping to examine every rock, bug, flower, and talk to everyone.

 

{Chaz at 2 years old}

 

He loved to paint and color as a toddler. He was always so messy and loved it. He spoke so well as young as 1 year old. He would amaze people with his knowledge and clear speech.

 

{Chaz at 2 years old and his aunt Mei}

 

Chaz was always excited to see his GooGoo Mei.

 

{Chaz at 3 years old and me}

 

Chaz was/is so smart. He hung out with the adults a lot when he was really little. He was the only little one around for a while. He would just join in on the discussions and ask more questions. It was fun watching him make friends at his daycare/preschool.

 

{Chaz at 2 years old with Aunt Jenn and Nana}

 

He adored his Aunt Jenn and Nana so very much! They spent so much time together. Aunt Jenn would take Chaz everywhere with her and they even wore matching clothes.

 

 

{Chaz at 4 years old, me, and his dad}

 

Chaz pretty much had the full attention of everyone with him being the only grandchild for a while. We moved into this house just after he turned 4. He hated that long hallway. He wouldn't walk down it for the longest time without me holding his hand.

 

{Chaz at 4 years old with his grandparents}

 

He loved playing with his YaiYai and NaiNai. They had such a special bond.

 

{Chaz at 5 years old and me, first day of kindergarten}

 

Chaz learned to read about halfway through his kindergarten year and he was reading chapter books by the end of the year. He soaked it all up and loved learning so many new things.  He showed his competitive side in kindergarten as well.

 

{Chaz at 6 years old and Brijet}

 

Chaz was a super sweet big brother. He was gentle with his baby sister and really helpful.  Chaz hung out with his Aunt Jenn all the time at this age. They did everything together and even dressed alike.

 

{Chaz at 7 years old}

 

Chaz loved Legos as a young kid. He would make many interesting creations. He also liked to play with coins and make designs with them. He read constantly.  

 

{Chaz at 8 years old and Ainzley}

 

Chaz had this adorable toy iguana. He put a fake leash on it and tortured his sisters with it! It looked so real and they were terrified. He had so much fun with it. He was really sweet to his sisters though. He would read to them, help them play, share things with them.

 

{Chaz at 9 years old}

 

Chaz learned to swim easily when he was about 5 years old. He loved going to the pool and had fun going off the diving board. He would easily make friends and then just swim off for a day of fun.

{Chaz at 10 years old with his sisters, Brijet and Ainzley}

 

Chaz was a little adventurous. He would play in the woods a bit at the end of our street. We would all go out and dance in the rain together. He learned to take care of the lawn and worked hard at getting that done. He ended up mowing a few neighbors' yards to make some money as well.

{Chaz at 11 years old}

 

Chaz loved origami! He would do all sorts of fun stuff with paper. He was so good at it. He made the cutest things and some weird things as well. He learned to make balloon animals and wowed people with them. :)

{Chaz at 12 years old with Ainzley, Brijet, and me}

 

Chaz loved playing board games and video games. What preteen didn't? He also found a love of chess. He learned to play pretty easily and tried to teach his sisters. He was also fond of magic tricks and enjoyed showing his sisters.

{Chaz at 13 years old with Brijet, Ainzley, cousin Micah, and Dax}

 

Chaz taught himself to juggle.  Dax just loves watching him juggle. He was such a good cousin. He would play with Micah and make him giggle so much. He is good at getting the deep laugh from the little guys. He also has no trouble saying no and being done. He never lets the kids get away with anything they shouldn't be doing.

{Chaz at 14 years old with his dad, Brijet, Ainzley, and Dax}

 

Chaz really didn't like music as a little kid. It was funny how he would always ask me to turn it off but he loves music now. Maybe he just didn't like my taste in music.

Chaz at 15 years old with the family}

 

Chaz amazes me with how smart he is. He learns so much in school and then he tells me all about it. He explains things so well and remembers the smallest details. He loves learning about psychology, history, and different cultures. He currently speaks a little Spanish and loves practicing.

{Chaz at 16 years old with his friends, Kaylin and Hanna}

 

Chaz has been such a fun teen so far. It has been fun to teach him to drive and see him interact with his friends. I am so proud of this young man! He was invited to go to the Missouri Scholars Academy 3-week summer camp for his excellent test scores and IQ. He is so bright. He currently mows yards with a friend of a friend and recently got hired on at Sonic to start after camp. He is thrilled to be earning money of his own and plans to save up for a car as soon as possible. He is joining swim team this school year and taking 5 AP classes.  He has big plans for the rest of his high school years.

 

He went to prom with a friend and has been to a few other small dances. It was fun seeing him all dressed up with a friend. I wish I could have attended the dances and seen how he danced. LOL

 

I want to do it all again. I want to start over with the pregnancy, birth, nursing, newborn stage, toddler stage, the hard parts, the good parts. Everything. I want to relive his life again and soak it up better, take more pics, write more down. It is hard to watch the kids grow up. I miss him being so small yet I love watching him grow and learn. Being a mom to this young man truly is a gift.

 

I look forward to seeing what this year brings him.