This is my dad. I love my dad. I do. He was a decent father growing up. I know he loved me even though we were not close at all. My parents were divorced and he lived with his new wife and their two sons. I visited when I could. We didn't do father-daughter dances. We didn't do lunch dates alone. He didn't tuck me in at night or read me any stories, ever. He paid his child support and had me over for dinner where we chatted here and there with the rest of the family.
{This is the one and only picture of my father with all of his grandkids together.}
But my kids don't really know him. The girls call him 'my mommy's dad.'
My son calls him by his name.
I have a wall built pretty thick and high for very specific reasons.
I wonder if healing will come. I wonder if a bond can even be formed.
Honestly, I am not sure if I truly want healing, bonding, or nothing at all.
*I keep editing this post. It never seems right. I want to share details but feel like it is just not the right place or time.*
It is hard to be the only one willing to reach out and try constantly while he lets her treat us like she does. I just always remember him saying Im so sorry she is this way. Instead of stopping her in her tracks and saying you will not talk to my daughter this way.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes to you as you navigate this experience!
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