A Decade of Brijet Caiwen

My sweet baby Brijet is super excited to be 10 years old!

 

 

{Brijet 4 days new}

We were so excited to have a baby girl. I made sure we had a lot of pink clothes, pink diaper bag, pink carseat, pink stroller. I was loving the pink vibe. LOL She was my second child, first girl.  Brijet was such a sweet baby. She nursed a lot and enjoyed being held by the whole family.

 

{Brijet 5 months old}

 

Brijet was happy to be able to roll over and crawl around on her own. She loved the freedom and got into everything. Her hair stuck straight up most of the time and made us laugh. I loved her giggle.

 

 

{Brijet 1 year old}

 

All of us loved on Brijet. She followed big brother around everywhere. She loved wearing dresses and swinging. She became a big sister at 16 months old and took her big sis job seriously. 

 

 

 

{Brijet 2 years old}

 

Brijet and her little sister lived in princess dress-up dresses when they were little. It was the cutest thing. Brijet loved to turn on the music and dance away while wearing her little dress.

 

 

{Brijet 3 years old}

 

Fashionista is a good word to describe my Brijet. She has loved clothes and accessories since she was pretty small. She loved being all pinked out, pink everything. She would help dress her sister in some cute fashionable outfits. She loved all things girly.

 

 

{Brijet 4 years old}

 

Brijet taught herself to swim around 4 or so. She was determined to learn. She loved art and would draw, color, paint whenever she could. She just loved creating.

 

 

{Brijet 5 years old} 

 

 Brijet taught herself to ride a bike around 5. She would put her mind to something and not stop until she achieved her goal. She was so excited for kindergarten and loved to learn.

 

 

{Brijet 6 years old}

 

Brijet wrote the most adorable stories. She knew author names and read books all the time. She has wanted to be an author/illustrator for some time now. I remember being at a park once when she was about 5 or 6. Another mom was chatting with Brijet (as Jet talked to everyone) and Brijet mentioned a book by a certain author. That mom's jaw dropped and then she smiled so big.

 

 

{Brijet 7 years old}

 

Brijet took being a big sis seriously again. She was holding her baby brother like a pro and making him giggle like crazy. She pretends to be a dog to appease him and gives him piggy back rides.

 

 

{Brijet 8 years old}

 

Brijet is all about them friendships. She is a party planner. She loves to invite people over and plan the activities. She often asks to throw random events just to invite people over. She and Ainzley once planned a valentine party and invited some friends over. I only had to listen to their plans and help buy supplies or set up. Other than that, my job is to keep Dax away from them.

 

 

{Brijet 9 years old}

 

Brijet really loves make up and watches make up tutorials online. She loves to go shopping and find new clothes for herself. She makes these adorable Musical.ly videos and shows her creative side.

 

 

 {Brijet 10 years old}

 

Brijet likes to roller blade now, with a helmet of course. She is interested in safety and does a good job helping others remember to be safe as well. She is also good about brushing her teeth and reminding others to do the same. She is so smart and kind. She often helps out extra around the house when needed. She loves to tease Chaz about various things but she adores him.

We struggled getting her asthma and allergies under control for a bit but she is on daily medication now and doing a lot better. She feels so much better now. She is such a sweet girl and I am so blessed to be her mama. She has such a pretty smile and still has that fashionista sense!

 

Happy 10th birthday to my sweet Brijet Caiwen. You are so loved. 

Happy 16th Birthday to Chaz!

My first born, my sweet baby boy, the one who started me on the mom journey, turned 16.

 

{gulp}

 

How can he possibly be this old?

 

 {Chaz around a month old and me}

 

Why is the newborn stage so short? I can barely remember him being so tiny. I loved snuggling him. I held him all the time and I loved every minute. He took to nursing so easily and I was relieved we didn't have issues. He was a mama's boy from the beginning. I was so shocked when he was born with a head full of dark black hair. He was such a beautiful baby.

 

{Chaz around 3 months old and his dad}

 

Daddy and Chaz hung out and played video games together.  He was so smiley and loved when family played with him. Wen was so nervous to hold him and feared he would hurt him.

{Chaz around 7 months old and me}

 

Once he learned to crawl, he was happy being let down to explore. He would examine things and try to figure things out. He was such a happy little guy. He loved his grandparents and aunts and uncles so much. He loved to giggle.

 

 {Chaz at 1 year old}

 

We spent most of our day outside walking around the neighborhood when he was a toddler. He would walk so slow, stopping to examine every rock, bug, flower, and talk to everyone.

 

{Chaz at 2 years old}

 

He loved to paint and color as a toddler. He was always so messy and loved it. He spoke so well as young as 1 year old. He would amaze people with his knowledge and clear speech.

 

{Chaz at 2 years old and his aunt Mei}

 

Chaz was always excited to see his GooGoo Mei.

 

{Chaz at 3 years old and me}

 

Chaz was/is so smart. He hung out with the adults a lot when he was really little. He was the only little one around for a while. He would just join in on the discussions and ask more questions. It was fun watching him make friends at his daycare/preschool.

 

{Chaz at 2 years old with Aunt Jenn and Nana}

 

He adored his Aunt Jenn and Nana so very much! They spent so much time together. Aunt Jenn would take Chaz everywhere with her and they even wore matching clothes.

 

 

{Chaz at 4 years old, me, and his dad}

 

Chaz pretty much had the full attention of everyone with him being the only grandchild for a while. We moved into this house just after he turned 4. He hated that long hallway. He wouldn't walk down it for the longest time without me holding his hand.

 

{Chaz at 4 years old with his grandparents}

 

He loved playing with his YaiYai and NaiNai. They had such a special bond.

 

{Chaz at 5 years old and me, first day of kindergarten}

 

Chaz learned to read about halfway through his kindergarten year and he was reading chapter books by the end of the year. He soaked it all up and loved learning so many new things.  He showed his competitive side in kindergarten as well.

 

{Chaz at 6 years old and Brijet}

 

Chaz was a super sweet big brother. He was gentle with his baby sister and really helpful.  Chaz hung out with his Aunt Jenn all the time at this age. They did everything together and even dressed alike.

 

{Chaz at 7 years old}

 

Chaz loved Legos as a young kid. He would make many interesting creations. He also liked to play with coins and make designs with them. He read constantly.  

 

{Chaz at 8 years old and Ainzley}

 

Chaz had this adorable toy iguana. He put a fake leash on it and tortured his sisters with it! It looked so real and they were terrified. He had so much fun with it. He was really sweet to his sisters though. He would read to them, help them play, share things with them.

 

{Chaz at 9 years old}

 

Chaz learned to swim easily when he was about 5 years old. He loved going to the pool and had fun going off the diving board. He would easily make friends and then just swim off for a day of fun.

{Chaz at 10 years old with his sisters, Brijet and Ainzley}

 

Chaz was a little adventurous. He would play in the woods a bit at the end of our street. We would all go out and dance in the rain together. He learned to take care of the lawn and worked hard at getting that done. He ended up mowing a few neighbors' yards to make some money as well.

{Chaz at 11 years old}

 

Chaz loved origami! He would do all sorts of fun stuff with paper. He was so good at it. He made the cutest things and some weird things as well. He learned to make balloon animals and wowed people with them. :)

{Chaz at 12 years old with Ainzley, Brijet, and me}

 

Chaz loved playing board games and video games. What preteen didn't? He also found a love of chess. He learned to play pretty easily and tried to teach his sisters. He was also fond of magic tricks and enjoyed showing his sisters.

{Chaz at 13 years old with Brijet, Ainzley, cousin Micah, and Dax}

 

Chaz taught himself to juggle.  Dax just loves watching him juggle. He was such a good cousin. He would play with Micah and make him giggle so much. He is good at getting the deep laugh from the little guys. He also has no trouble saying no and being done. He never lets the kids get away with anything they shouldn't be doing.

{Chaz at 14 years old with his dad, Brijet, Ainzley, and Dax}

 

Chaz really didn't like music as a little kid. It was funny how he would always ask me to turn it off but he loves music now. Maybe he just didn't like my taste in music.

Chaz at 15 years old with the family}

 

Chaz amazes me with how smart he is. He learns so much in school and then he tells me all about it. He explains things so well and remembers the smallest details. He loves learning about psychology, history, and different cultures. He currently speaks a little Spanish and loves practicing.

{Chaz at 16 years old with his friends, Kaylin and Hanna}

 

Chaz has been such a fun teen so far. It has been fun to teach him to drive and see him interact with his friends. I am so proud of this young man! He was invited to go to the Missouri Scholars Academy 3-week summer camp for his excellent test scores and IQ. He is so bright. He currently mows yards with a friend of a friend and recently got hired on at Sonic to start after camp. He is thrilled to be earning money of his own and plans to save up for a car as soon as possible. He is joining swim team this school year and taking 5 AP classes.  He has big plans for the rest of his high school years.

 

He went to prom with a friend and has been to a few other small dances. It was fun seeing him all dressed up with a friend. I wish I could have attended the dances and seen how he danced. LOL

 

I want to do it all again. I want to start over with the pregnancy, birth, nursing, newborn stage, toddler stage, the hard parts, the good parts. Everything. I want to relive his life again and soak it up better, take more pics, write more down. It is hard to watch the kids grow up. I miss him being so small yet I love watching him grow and learn. Being a mom to this young man truly is a gift.

 

I look forward to seeing what this year brings him. 

Marriage with Kids

If you know anything about me, you know that being an amazing mom

and super wife are extremely important in my life.

 

I want to raise my children to be kind, smart, responsible human beings full of love and happy memories. I want to have a marriage my kids can look up to.

 

Wen and I dream of sitting on the porch in rocking chairs together holding hands as some of our final memories. We are planning our future for after the kids are grown. That requires keeping us together and happy through the tough years of young kids.

 

We are working on keeping the us alive while raising the little ones. It isn't so easy sometimes.

 

Kids take a lot out of you. As a mom, I feel the guilt if I spend too much time with one person and not enough with the other. I worry about if I am focusing too much on the kids or too much on Wen. I feel exhausted from everyday life.

 

 I know I'm not alone in this.

 

I know kids need to see their mom and dad working on their marriage;

but, knowing doesn't make it easy. Right?

 

Anyone still with me? Feel the same? 

 

Okay, follow me here.

 

I follow this amazing Instagram account called Marriage365.

 

Marriage365 is a married couple who talk about a lot of marriage issues and marriage with kids. There is no instruction manual when you get married and have kids but I know families search for good information to help them make life decisions.

 

 Marriage365 has written a few ebooks and even put on webcasts in which they chat about this stuff. 

 

Check them out.

 

 

As this adorable pic states, their Secrets to a Healthy Marriage with Kids webcast is on May 18th. You should check it out. You can watch it live or watch a recording of it, whichever you prefer. Just click my link to find the info on the webcasts and learn more from Casey and Meygan. 

 

The Marriage365 Instagram account is pretty fun to follow as well.

 

A Child's Trust Taken For Granted

 

 

It had never really crossed my mind before. Kids and trust. 

 

My kids all learned so early to trust us, rely on us as parents to take care of their needs. I didn't realize I was taking it for granted.

 

It seemed like a normal thing in the world, that's just what kids learn, right?

I remember to be thankful for

healthy kids

our home

our marriage

our food

my job

my husband's job

and the list goes on.

 

I just never thought to be thankful for our kids trusting us.

 

It just seemed like a natural thing to happen.

 

When I watched Dax trying to jump to Wen, it hit me. His little eyes and body movement are telling a story. He is cautious. He is nervous. He really wants to jump and be caught but he is afraid he won't be caught. That fear only lasted a few seconds as daddy reassured him once again that he will catch him. And then that sweet Dax remembered his trust, remembered the many, many, many times before when his daddy did catch him, and he jumped with a huge smile across his face and a tiny giggle slipped out.

 

It was such a small part of our day full of Dax running to hold daddy's hand and begging daddy to carry him around. It didn't seem so big at first but the more I thought of it the bigger it seemed.

 

And I felt so very grateful for this life.

 

So grateful I comforted my babies when they cried. So grateful I carried them, wore them in slings, and snuggled them whenever they asked. So grateful I listened to their cries and helped them fix their problems. So grateful I slept beside them to help them feel safe. So grateful I caught them every time they jumped and encouraged them to jump again and again and again.

 

I didn't spoil them. I didn't ruin them. I didn't make them brats. I built their trust.

 

My heart aches for the children who haven't had their trust built up.

 

Asthma and Allergies Adventures

When my Brijet was around 5 years old, we visited a friend, just like we had several times before. This friend had a cat and Brijet, being the animal lover she is, pet the cat a few times while playing with the kids.                            

Random fun pics just for fun.

Look how adorable she was at 6!

She had a little trouble breathing which led us to the doctor visit the next day where she needed breathing treatments and a steroid to get her breathing back up. We got a referral to an allergist where we learned she has asthma as well as allergies to cats, trees, weeds, grass, mold, dust mites, and cockroaches. That is a lot for a tiny 6-year-old to take in.

She had to see what was happening on her back. She tolerated it really well.

She was prescribed several medications and an asthma action plan. We learned to avoid the triggers and Brijet seemed to do okay using her inhaler rarely that first year. The years after brought more inhaler use, trials of daily medications to help symptoms, worse symptoms, and more followup visits with the allergist.

She was such an adorable 7-year-old!

We were trying to figure out if she needed her tonsils out after she said she would wake often feeling really short of breath and gasping for air. We were visiting specialists and deciding on who should be her primary allergist after I decided I was not a fan of the office she had been seeing. We ultimately found a great ENT and decided to take the conservative route, try getting her allergies under better control to limit the mucus, and then see if she can tolerate the tonsils and adenoids being at about a 2 or if she needs them out later.

Ainzley 6, Dax 1, Brijet 8.

On March 13, 2016, our family decided to visit a big shopping area about 40 minutes from our home. We always carry Brijet's inhaler with us. Brijet suddenly had an asthma attack in the car and her inhaler did not seem to be helping her enough to feel better. That landed her in the emergency room at the local hospital and changed the way we view her illness.

Brijet felt much better after her ER visit on 03/13/2016 (9 years old).

I had done little research on her asthma and allergies. I thought we had a decent handle on it. She used the inhaler as needed. We talked about what to do when she got short of breath. We made sure she stayed away from triggers and showered after playing outdoors. I taught her how to use her inhaler and nebulizer as needed. 

Adorable Jet at 5.

It's weird, you know. I would still let her go on walks with friends, ride her bike, run around and play. I always tried to make sure we had her inhaler but some days we would end up at a park and the inhaler was accidentally left at home. It didn't seem like such a big deal. I guess most things are not a big deal until you have to deal with the emergency situation.

Beautiful Jet at 4.

We have since found a new allergist and we have a new plan to treat her. We learned her lungs are working less than normal at baseline and she needs a daily inhaler to help her heal.  We learned she went from just fine to full blown asthma attack in a few seconds because she was already halfway there at baseline. We learned she probably isn't using her inhaler quick enough because her body has become used to breathing less than normal at baseline. We learned that her first skin test and allergen levels were extremely high for a 6-year-old and that the level statistically rose each year, making her react even more each time. Frankly, that just plain sucked to hear. I thought I was doing all I could as a mom but I needed to do better.

Brijet at 3 and Ainzley at almost 2.

It sucked to learn these things 3 years later. Our old allergist (though kind, good bedside manner, and helpful) never shared with us how high her results were. He never shared how significant that is. He never shared that statistically she will get worse. And I never researched it like I should have. I know better.

My 2-year-old Jet.

Asthma and allergies happen to many people and each person has a different reaction. I have talked to several people with allergies and asthma or who have kids with allergies and asthma.  I have learned this is an illness that is hard to control. 

Chaz 7, Ainzley 2 months, Brijet 1.

I officially joined a club I never wanted to join

I just have to get this down. I'm still a little shaken up. Dax, however, seems just fine.

 

How do little bodies bounce back so easily sometimes?

 

*It turned into a longer post than I originally planned. I just want it written in one spot.*

 

 

Dax has a somewhat complicated history of allergies/intolerances.  He was diagnosed with milk protein allergy as a newborn and we were advised to take dairy, eggs, nuts, beef, and soy out of my diet since I was nursing him or put him on a prescription specialty formula. (Later, he tasted mashed green beans and had a GI reaction.) The doctor informed us that in most cases like this the child outgrows this by 1 but sometimes can outgrow it by 5.  I took all those foods out of my diet and successfully nursed him. If I accidentally consumed those foods (some of those foods are well hidden in foods), he would arch his back, scream in agony, have trouble with bowel movements, spit up/puke, and was overall miserable. It was considered a gastrointestinal allergy. However, not all doctors agree that GI reactions are true allergens and they are not quite as easy to test as the anaphylactic reaction is.

 

I saw a few allergists who told me his GI reaction didn't count as an allergy, that his GI reaction to foods would NEVER EVER be able to turn into an anaphylactic reaction, and that testing him would be a waste of everyone's time since GI allergens don't test well. They advised me to just give him a bite of the food in question and see what happens.

 

We saw a GI specialist. She told us GI reactions are considered allergic reactions, it is super hard to test for, and we should just give him a bite of the food in question and see what happens. I wasn't exactly happy with these answers but I received them from physicians at one of the best hospitals in town. I did some more research and began testing him at home. I had Benadryl ready and gave him small portions of some of the offending foods to start with. He successfully passed soy, beef, and beans with no issue. He didn't even complain of a tummy ache.  

 

Then we tried eggs when he was around 2.5 or so. He immediately got the red face, made a choking sound, and overall didn't feel well. I gave him Benadryl and he cleared right up. So we kept eggs out of his diet and my PCP (who is amazing) gave us a prescription for an EpiPen. He successfully tried milk products as long as it is baked in things.  A cup of milk still makes his tummy hurt and gives him bowel movement issues. I have yet to try nuts.

 

Saturday afternoon, he got ahold of cookie that had eggs and nuts in it.  He slowly got a bit of a red face, started scratching his tongue on his teeth. Then he started saying he didn't feel quite well and needed to lay down to rest. He started coughing and I heard a wheeze. I gave him the Benadryl. He still had a cough and the wheezes seemed a bit more prominent. His eyes were watering and he kept rubbing his nose because it was itchy. I took out the EpiPen and he begged me not to give it to him. We had practiced using it and talked about what to expect. I held him tight and gave him the EpiPen.

 

His symptoms didn't start right away. They started maybe 20-30 minutes later. After the symptoms started, though, they progressed pretty quickly. There was no clear sign what he was reacting to but we assumed it was the egg since he had a clear reaction to egg before.

 

After giving the EpiPen, we had to get him to the ER. He improved quite a bit after the EpiPen and was playful by the time we got to the ER. The ER staff was amazing. They were kind and playful with my little guy. They gave us an oral steroid and a breathing treatment as he was still wheezing. His nasal passage looked pretty swollen and he was sniffling a lot. He also developed hives after we got to the ER. The steroid helped with the itching a ton.

 

He was so sweet at the ER and listened so well. He watched TV and enjoyed his apple juice. I think he liked having me to himself for a little bit.

 

He has never reacted like this and needed an EpiPen before. He has never reacted to cross contamination before either. We have been careful about his intolerances/allergies but it never seemed like it was as bad as some people have them.

 

This taught us to be even more cautious. I know an allergic reaction can be worse with each exposure. He has a habit of just grabbing stuff to eat it sometimes but other times is so good about knowing what he can and cannot have.

 

I was sure holding him tighter. It was scary yet I felt in control. Usually, I freak out too much in emergency situations. I was calm, had practiced what to do, had educated myself on what to do.

 

 

Dax seemed to handle it all really well. He was super itchy and just miserable. However, the EpiPen, steroid, and breathing treatment all kind of hyped him up so he was running around the ER room saying his legs just needed to run in circles.

 

The ER staff gave him an adorable teddy bear. It matches the one he received at 16 months old when he had his seizure. He named them and loves on them. I just hoped that he would grow out of the allergies/intolerances by 5. I was putting off testing because I have yet to find a doctor who will listen to me and take his GI reactions seriously. No one wants to me part of this club, this club of families who have to carry EpiPens everywhere, checking labels like crazy, excluding our children from functions to keep them safe. No one wants to have to practice stabbing their child with a needle (the practice EpiPen doesn't have a needle, but I made sure to teach Dax that the real one would) to help them survive and breathe again. No one wants to have a cute little teddy bear sitting in their home as a reminder of the ER visit they sat through. No one wants to have to list allergies on school forms and then deal with class parties and lunch rooms full of kids and random foods. No one wants to see their child scratch his skin until it bleeds or struggle to breathe.

 

We are so blessed and I never want to forget that. Dax is fine. He was fine by the night of the allergic reaction. He seems to enjoy being snuggled a bit more than usual, though. I am still shook up. I watch him a little closer. I'm still hopeful that he can outgrow some of these allergens. I'm still hopeful I will find a local doctor who is kind and will listen to me. I'm hopeful that other parents who are worried and dealing with allergies/intolerances will find peace and strength to deal with this challenge. I'm hopeful that we won't have to use the EpiPen again anytime soon.