My Thoughts on Kindness, Respect, and Grace Towards Children

Okay.

Here's the thing.

Adults are given so much grace, kindness, and respect all throughout each and every day when they make mistakes. They are patted on the back, hugged, reassured that they are doing the best they can. Sure, there are sometimes consequences like a fine for a bill paid too late or a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt. Usually, the company you paid late offers reassurance and kindness as they collect your money. Cops don't make a habit out of yelling at or belittling the person they pulled over for no seatbelt. An apology is accepted and life moves on. The new day is a fresh start.

That does not seem to be the case with children. I see it over and over.  They make mistakes all the time, as children do, because their little brains are still growing and learning.  Guess what?  That's what childhood is for. This is the time to make mistakes and learn from them and grow. Children get yelled at though. They get belittled. They get those awful stare-downs from adults. They don't get fresh starts because adults tend to hold grudges that kids can't fathom. They get told to shut up and stop crying because the cry upsets the adult.

It's supposed to be looked at as just the way things are. I don't understand why this is the norm and I'm hoping like crazy that it can be changed.

I'm not perfect either. This isn't a blog about how great I am or how awful other adults are.

I just feel like I want to remind people that children are still human beings with emotions and flaws who deserve respect no matter what.

#DaringDax is Finally Four!

 

#DaringDax lives up to his nickname. He is constantly running, climbing, and wrestling.

 

Dax loves playing at the park and bringing toys. Finding friends at the park makes him happier.

 

Dax loves playing with big sister Ainzley. She is so sweet to him. She reads to him and they like to snuggle together. She pretends to be his mother and he pretends to be the baby.  

 

Dax prefers wearing as few articles of clothing as is allowed at all times.

 

I love watching his imagination. He loves playing with superheroes and cars.

 

I love his poses! He loves showing off his muscles!

 

Playing with friends is absolutely one of his favorite things to do.

 

Big sister Brijet is good at planning activities for Dax and his friends. She put together a laser maze with scarves for Dax and his friends to play.

 

Dax had a birthday party with friends for the first time ever. He was thrilled to have his friends sing to him and play games with him!

 

Dax loves when we have family days out. He enjoys being able to run around and try new things.

 

Jumping on anything makes Dax so happy.

 

SpiderDax had a blast trick or treating. He was old enough to understand what was going on and it was so fun to watch him take it all in. He was well aware of his food allergies this year. He refused to let anything unsafe touch his bucket so it made for an interesting few days of collecting candy.

 

Watching Dax and his cousin Micah play together is truly fun!

 

Dax got to spend the week after his birthday at several trunk or treat events with different friends. He was absolutely thrilled. He loved all the games so much.

 

I just love snapping pics of this sweet boy. He is just so funny!

 

Can't get enough of his poses!

 

 

Dax says he needs to hug his nana so tight and loves hanging out with his aunt Jenn!

 

 

Dax chose the big pumpkin. He was able to help cut it a bit this year and scoop the seeds out.

 

Watching the three little kids play together is so fun! I love watching them connect.

 

 

Big brother Chaz is so busy with school and work but as soon as Dax sees him he tackles him and begs to wrestle. They play and scream at each other and beat each other up. Dax teases Chaz like crazy about his girlfriend. I love watching their relationship grow.

 

Dax is in preschool this year. He absolutely loves it. He has made a ton of friends. He is learning so much and his speech is improving so much.

 

Dax was not quite a fan of trick or treating this year. He loved the trunk or treat events that offered games and most of them had safe candy. Trick or treating was a bit harder. There was a longer walk between houses and most houses only offered chocolate, very unsafe for him. He was upset and felt left out and didn't quite understand it all. It was heartbreaking to watch him and we learned we have to figure out his allergy situation better before the next event involving candy.

 

Dax absolutely loves his daddy. He tries to jump on him to wake him and begs him not to go to work. He expects daddy to help pick him up from preschool. He wants him to wrestle a lot and he prefers daddy to push him on the swings.

 

My Dax sure loves his candy and safe snacks. He loves the gluten free pretzels and meat sticks.

                              

 

Dax still needs to lay beside his mama to sleep. He likes to sit behind me in my chair while I work.

 

It is so amazing to watch this little guy grow and learn. I am so happy we got to celebrate him turning 4. I love hearing him tell his stories and sing songs. Dax is a happy, playful, crazy little man.

 

I'm so glad I get to be his mama. Happy Birthday #DaringDax!

SweetAinz is now 9!

 

 

Oh what fun it has been to raise this sweet girl. I'm always sad about how fast time seems to fly by.

 

I want to go back to the day Ainzley was born, snuggle her longer, snap more pics of her sweet baby face, and soak it in over and over again. Even the crazy toddler years.

 

I want to relive it all with her.

 

 

My sweet girl had a lovely time on her 9th birthday. She had a small party with a few friends which is just right for her. She does better in smaller group settings.

 

She is such a daring child. She loves adventure.

 

Roller blading is one of her favorite outside activities. 

 

You can usually find Ainzley upside down somewhere, doing some kind of flip, or climbing up and all around the monkey bars, tops of the play equipment.

 

 

Ainzley adores her friends. She and her friends giggled away at the party and it was the cutest thing.

 

I cannot believe she is 9, one year closer to 10. She still seems like my little toddler dancing around in her princess dress. She still loves to dance and sing so much but is pretty much over the princess phase. It is such a pleasure to watch her grow.

 

Happy Birthday my SweetAinz! I love you so very much!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At His Own Pace, In His Own Time

I had to drop my preschool baby off at the front door the other and he got to walk to class alone.

How did we get here? How did he get so big and strong and brave?

{sigh}

I have let all 4 of my kids move about at their own pace. I listened to them and followed their cues as much as possible.

It just felt natural to let them lead a bit. I wanted to instill a bond and trust in them.

I think it worked. They all chose when they were ready to leave my side. Dax took a lot longer than the older ones did though. I would question myself here and there. I worried he may be taking too long to find his independence. I was worried he wasn't like other 3-year-old kids.

I still listened to him. I still followed his lead. I felt like it was the right thing to do.

I'm so glad I waited until he was ready. I do not regret snuggling him too much. In fact, I really miss those snuggle times.

He decided on his own that he could go away with his Aunt Jenn and have a good time. He felt that he would be safe away from me. He felt confident in his decision and so I followed his lead.

He did it. After choosing to not be away from me for more than 3 hours at a time and not being able to sleep without me beside him, he spent 3 nights with his beloved aunt and cousin with his sisters there for support (and fun). I was so very proud.

I followed his lead. I let him decide. It felt good to know it was his choice.

 It cemented the belief that I did the right thing to wait until he was ready.

Then he started preschool and has handled it like a champ. He misses me a ton while he is gone each day but he is having fun. He is secure and knows I will be right there when school is over.

It makes me smile to know that he feels safe enough to gain a bit of independence.

 

Missouri Scholars Academy with Chaz

Having a teenager is seriously amazing. 

 

My Chaz is smart, kind, responsible, and seriously funny. He makes me laugh daily. He retains information so easily and spouts it out with such fluency. I am amazed by this boy of mine.

 

{I am gong to keep this post focused on the positive; but, please don't think it is always rainbows and unicorns over here. We still have our moments that aren't so positive.}

 

 

Chaz has been in the gifted program at school since he was in second grade. He is really smart. We learned early that he was competitive when it came to academics and he needed extra challenges in school to keep him focused. It is just the way he is wired. He is smart beyond his years. He works hard to keep his grades up and maintain a social life.

 

 

While in the 10th grade, Chaz took the PSAT test at school. When he got the results back, we were informed that the Missouri Scholars Academy liked his scores and wanted him to apply to join the MSA camp. MSA chooses hundreds of sophomores in Missouri who have the best test scores and invites them to camp. The students then compete to get in as only 330 of the best can attend camp. Chaz had to write 2 essays and then take an IQ score to qualify for the camp after having exceptional PSAT scores.  This is a serious camp.  

 

 

He was thrilled when he learned he made it into the camp. The MSA camp is hosted at University of Missouri.  The 330 bright teens of MO get to stay on the college campus in dorms and attend a major and minor class a day for 3 weeks. There are several extra activities packed into the evenings and weekends to keep the kids occupied, interested, challenged, and push them to think outside the box. Thankfully the camp was free this year and Chaz was able to attend.

 

 

Chaz was eager for his time away but knew he would miss everyone. My dad and I drove him the 2 hours to the college to drop him off. It was really weird not having him home for 3 weeks!

 

Chaz truly deserves this.

 

 

He saw friends from school there who were invited to attend this year and who were just at the camp helping because they had gone previous years. He already knew a little about the camp from chatting with others who had gone and was eager to get started there.

 

 

The kids stayed at the Mark Twain hall. The schedule was packed and set.

 

 

Chaz had a key card to get into his dorm room. He was so excited to see his name on the door.

 

 

The bed is so tiny!

 

 

He had his own little desk and tiny closet area.

 

Is this what sending my baby off to college will be like in a couple years?

 

 

We had lunch in the Mark Twain hall cafeteria. It was lovely! The food was delicious and the staff was so kind to everyone there.

 

 

 They ate at The Mark inside Mark Twain for each meal. When I went to drop him off, I talked to one of the chefs in the cafeteria. Adele was working so hard and I thanked her for her hard work. Chaz later told me that she really appreciated it and chatted with him throughout the camp.

 

 

The MSA staff held a little ceremony to invite the kids in and answer questions for the parents.

 

We got to hear fun stories of previous campers as this has been offered since 1985! I had no idea it even existed. The people who have attended this camp say it seriously changed their lives. Most went on to help in the camp in some way as a camp leader, teacher, staff helper, dorm RA, etc.

 

 

When the kids walked in, I felt so much emotion. These kids, these 330 teenagers, worked so hard to get here. They came from all areas of Missouri. They are the brightest of the bright here in MO.  I was blessed to be in the same room as them.  They definitely needed a summer camp to relax, enjoy themselves, and meet other people with like interests.

 

My Chaz is part of an amazing set of teens this year.

 

 

My dad was very happy to be part of this extordinary event with Chaz.

 

Chaz was eager to get camp started. I was a little sad to be leaving him there!

 

 

The campus is just gorgeous! I am so thankful for the hard work these kind people put into this camp. Chaz texted me to say he wanted to stay forever. He loved it so very much.

 

MSA was truly a life changing experience for my Chaz. 

We Love You Leslie

1999

 

Aunt Leslie is what I called her, my mom's close friend from childhood. She was my aunt through and through, not sharing blood made no difference. She was a strong shoulder for my mom when she lost her mom and her marriage in a short period of time. Aunt Leslie helped do my grandmother's hair and makeup in the casket. She helped take care of my sister and me when my mom needed her. No questions. She helped me through some tough times in my teen years and was there for my mom through it all. She could burp the alphabet, ya'll. She was hilarious, gross, full of raunchy comedy, and we just laughed together.

1999

 

I remember how happy she was to be a mommy. She waited until later in life to take on this role and she loves her boys so, so very much. She had her boys right around the time I had my first baby. It was strange having a kid around the same age as my mom's best friend. LOL

 

2003

 

Today I got the text that Leslie was taken to the hospital by ambulance, nonresponsive, and they don't think she will make it. Ouch. My mom is devastated. I'm still processing it. She is the same age as my mom. She has two teen sons, teens who she won't get to see graduate, marry. She will never meet any future grandchildren. She won't be able to share her burping alphabet with anyone again.

2003

 

Leslie's boys, Michael and Ryan, are kissing their mom good-bye, forever. It seems strange as I clean my house and feed my kids that someone else is saying good-bye forever.

 

How can life be this unfair?

 

2004

 

Leslie was there for my cousin's wedding, my wedding, and my sister's wedding reception after my sister got married in Jamaica. It was so special to have her there.

2004

 

How does the world still function, move, go on as she lay in a hospital bed surrounded by crying, devastated loved ones? Would it have been easier if someone had taken her life and we had someone to be mad at for this loss?

 

2009

 

Would it be easier if we had a week's notice to say our good-byes or would drawing it out have been too much? Would it have been easier if her teen sons had not found her themselves?

 

Would anything have made saying good-bye easier?

 

2009

 

Leslie and my mom laughed so much together. I can't imagine how hard this is for my mom. Leslie is the same age as my mom.  You shouldn't have to say good-bye to a friend so young.

 

2009

 

It is a horrible wake-up call to take care of our bodies, take care of our loved ones, call our family and share our love with those who mean the most to us.

 

2010

 

Mom and Leslie had some fun times together. Leslie used to have me clean her house for her and pay me a bit to do it. My mom would drag my sister, brother, and me to Leslie's house to visit. They would say it would be a short visit and we would end up falling asleep waiting for them to wrap it up and say good-bye. She had no kids at the time so there were no toys. We would just lay around waiting for the time to go. I wish I could be laying around bored to tears again listening to them laugh.

 

2010

 

Leslie honestly didn't like her picture being taken. She always made me take the pic off my Facebook page.  Now I wish I would have just let her be mad and told her she was beautiful and she needed her love to shine through the lens.

 

2011

 

Leslie came to all the family functions. Everyone knew she was just like an extension of my mom. That is just the way it was, for years. Oh sure, they had their friendly spats but they loved each other so much and they both knew it. Leslie gave my nephew, Micah, his Arky blanket, the blanket that became his special, has-to-to-everywhere-with-him snuggly.

 

2011

 

I didn't hesitate to invite Leslie out to the bar with me when I was old enough and able to get out. It was fun having some party time with my mom and her friend! Oh the stories they would share. I love hearing things about my mom from her friends. I'm so thankful she let me snap this pic of us together.

 

2011

 

Leslie holding Micah around Christmas 2011. It was a blast to invite Leslie over to family functions. She was able to attend my wedding and be part of birthday parties.

 

2012

 

Leslie holding Dax. I'm positive she came to meet my older 3 when they were first born but I can't find any pics. She was probably hiding from the camera! My girls still have a stuffed animal she gave them as babies. You know what was fun? Letting my mom's friend meet my kids. She helped raise me. She helped my mom through so much as I grew up.

 

Leslie, you are loved.